The Art of Downsizing
Along with a major lifestyle change, comes the reshuffling of everything familiar in your current life in order for it to fit into the new normal your designing. Getting everything to fit the way it did before inside of a different shaped box is hard.
Let me save you some frustration here. It doesn’t and it won’t, no matter how good you are at Tetris. That’s not to say that some things in your life can’t remain constant, but changes are coming and some of those changes are going to be whoppers and even a bit scary, so be prepared.
I can promise that you won’t find success in turning your world upside down and finding your footing again, unless you acquire a healthy dose of realism, a deep well of patience, and bucketfuls of flexibility.
I get it. I really do. Thankfully, I have the flexibility and realism to pull this off, but I am woefully short on the patience. I know that there is large part of you bubbling with barely contained excitement, and a readiness to just dive in and get started. That’s me too. But there is another part of you that is likely feeling at odds trying to cling to the safe, the comfortable, and stable and asking the same questions we all have asked ourselves. How can I do this safely and smartly? What needs to come first for our family financially, and what steps will take the most time to complete?
Chances are the answer to both of those questions may be what to do with your current living situation. I am writing this assuming you will be divesting yourself of your current abode. If that’s not your situation, then great. Insert your answer here, but even if that’s not the boat you’re in, I encourage you to keep reading. You may just soak up something you can still use or tuck away for future use.
As parting with our primary home is our first step, let me tell you how ours is going. Firstly, we need to deal with the nearly literal elephant in the room. What do we do with all the STUFF?! Well, my friends, here is where you need to grab a big ol’ bucket of that realism. As much as you may think you’ll be able to, you can’ have all of your things and haul them too.
Let it go!
You need to change gears and lighten the load, starting with all that stuff. No, I’m not saying you need to pitch everything overboard, (to stay with the nautical theme), and start from scratch, far from it, but decisions need to be made and some of those are going to be doozies.
We are lucky to have things a bit easier than many. We will be moving from our current home, a good sized sticks and bricks, to our smaller cabin that we use as a small weekend getaway. Having a home-base to lay our heads down and regroup when we’re off the road is indeed a luxury.
However, while this is a bonus, it comes with its challenges too. We need to find a place for all the stuff. So. Much. Stuff. Both houses are currently full and with one going away, we need a plan. The downsizing struggle is real, and, yes, while we do need things for Parker, we don’t need duplicates and triplicates of everything. How many spatulas, knives, towels and throw pillows does one really need? It’s going to be a big job, but fear not friends, fore I have a plan. I’m going…shopping!
Yep, you read that right. I’m going shopping – in a manner of speaking. I’m shopping my house, but the concept is essentially the same. With all of our now extra items to find places for, I have decided to have a bit of fun and treat the process like shopping trip to Target because who doesn’t love Target (and if you said, “Me”, then I’m sorry, but we can’t be friends). I’m going to take all the duplicates and triplicates of things, line them up, and essentially choose again which items I’m putting in my “It Stays Cart”, and which items I’m now “leaving on the shelves”.
"You just can't get rid of those! It would kill Aunt Margret!"
Ummm, yes you can. Aunt Margret will get over it. I have to admit though, I’m not exactly dragging my feet in regards to this task. I truly enjoy organizing, and simplifying so this process is super fun for me– not easy–but fun. I am not much in the way of sentimentality, while I’m not an unfeeling monster, I usually don’t feel compelled to hang onto Great Aunt Susie’s Depression Era glass denture case or 3rd Cousin Cecilia’s less than half complete china set (you know, the ones with the tiny poodles wearing derby hats). I don’t need or want them. I do, however, plan to keep a few very special things that have deep personal meaning to me, but not much.
Out of all our family, I am the most like this and am able to plow through piles at a pretty good clip, but I do have to remember that the other three peeps I live with have opinions too and often aren’t as cut-throat as me.
Listen up here everyone. I have a piece of advice to share with you that took me an unfortunate amount of time to learn. Don’t throw out that china set without knowing if anyone else has an inexplicable attachment to aforementioned poodle derby hats. Then, if they do, staunch your eye roll and set it aside for a ‘MAYBE’ pile. I mean it. Swallow your incredulity. All that “one man’s treasure and all that”, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes, it just takes time and compromising folks.
Downsizing with a Teenager
Since becoming a teenager, Shelby has developed rather definite opinions regarding the fate of her things and therefore has been placed in charge of her own downsizing for everyone’s safety.
With her being older, we don’t feel we have the authority we once did to make those kinds of decisions for her. There are limits and parameters for her to work within of course, but she has been both suprisingly and refreshingly reasonable no longer feeling the need to keep every single item she has ever been given. (Any other moms out there forced to smuggle old and broken items out of their kids’ rooms under cover of night like theives?) Her being excited about the trip has been a bonus and highly motivating- for all of us.
Bring on the Boxes
When I get started, I gather up boxes. I love boxes, you can put things in them, lots of things! I find it very cathartic to fill them with stuff and pack their contents in just the right way to leave room for that guinea pig exercise wheel that someone just can’t leave behind.
Now that I have the boxes, let’s go shopping! We need a few categories.
- Keep box
- To store box
- Donate box
And a ‘try to pawn off on kids with new houses and apartments’ box
Be thorough here. Ask yourself, if you would buy that item again. We all have those things, we bought two or more years ago for a rainy day and haven’t used within the past 50 inches, so pass them on. Those taco holders with the pictures of avocados doing squats that made your sister-in-law think of you when she saw them, pass them on. (You my need to rethink that sister-in-law too!) Those jeans you are hoping to fit into again someday soon, get rid of them. First, you don’t need the pressure, and two, if you are able to again fit into them,(yay you!) treat yourself to a new pair. You’ll have earned them! Bottom line, if you don’t currently need or use an item, pass it on. If you are moving to full time RVing, take this advice, times ten.
It’s been a very freeing feeling to declutter, and simplify. Because the reasons we are doing this are tied to something fresh and exciting, and we can’t move forward until this part is done, it’s been easier to make those choices. We are far from finished, but the process of letting go has only gotten easier the more we’ve loosened our grip.
Downsizing is emotional and that’s ok. Do it in stages or small increments if that works better for you. Give yourself the time and space to feel the way you feel, then take a breath and make the decision to either put it in the cart or leave it on the shelf.
What is it that you would or have found to be the most challenging when downsizing, whether it be moving into another home, or RV? Is it overcoming those emotional connections or the literal parting with your possessions? Let us know your thoughts down below and we’ll see you around the campfire.